I had a friend named Socrates Simpson.

[Captain O]

He had a school chum named Euripides Feldman (The rage was naming your children after Greek philosophers). Socrates went into altering garments and 20 years after not seeing his friend, a man walks into a ship that looked identical to his old chum. The man has a pair of slacks in his hand. Socrates looks at this gent and queries, "Euripides?" the man shot back, "Yes, you mend-a-dese?"